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I’m so proud, yet so sad…

I love my NinjaBaby, and I really am proud of all the progress he has made, but as I said... I still want to just cry.
I’m so proud, yet so sad…

So yesterday we went to a birthday party @ Riverfront park. NinjaBaby has been progressing by leaps and bounds lately with his speech. He’s started on 4 word sentenches/phrases, and likes to randomly copy what you are saying in a way that shows he’s understanding what is being said. It’s more than just mimic-ing. His cousin D who is 7 months younger than NinjaBaby, has been speaking just around the same level as NinjaBaby, maybe a slight bit more clear, and it’s lulled us into a false sense of security in some ways.

While we were thinking NinjaBaby was delayed and D was advanced, it turns out D while maybe a bit advanced, is mostly on-track, and NinjaBaby is more delayed than we had thought.

You see when we were at O’s birthday party (O and NinjaBaby have been friends for a while), a lot of O’s friends from preschool were there. And they were all there, talking clearly, doing organized play, and just expressing themselves in so many ways that NinjaBaby doesn’t. As I sat there, and watched him play, mostly alone (he did try an engage some of the other kids, but they mostly ignored him due to his size and language skills, and possibly because they didn’t know him), I just wanted to cry.

I wanted to grab him, bring him home, and protect him. I know that is over-reacting, and that he really needs MORE of this interaction to blossom more, but it’s so hard. It’s hard to see him alone in a sea of kids. It’s hard to REALLY notice how delayed he is, and that maybe we were wrong for thinking he just might not be able to make Preschool Disabled.

I know it’s nothing bad if he does, and actually solves a lot of headaches if he does, but honestly, I was hoping he would go to HeadStart or “normal” preschool no matter how much it would hurt our monthly budget.

I love my NinjaBaby, and I really am proud of all the progress he has made, but as I said… I still want to just cry.

-R

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Tags: Families, Special Needs
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